8 years ago I let you walk out of my life. Yesterday, you walked back in. I have felt anything like this in forever. I am not even sure I can explain what this feeling is. I do know this one thing.
YOU ARE MY DEAL BREAKER.
I didn’t want to leave your side. I thought for the first time in a year that I couldn’t more to Portland. I couldn’t sleep because I knew you weren’t there. I feel like when you talk to me, you are begging me not to go. I caught you sneaking peeks at me. You are everything I want.
I have been think about this since yesterday. Searching for an answer. This is what I came up with.
I will take my time with you. Time will not hurt anything that is meant to be. I will be kind to you and not mistake things. I will make time for you and let you in. If things are going to be, they will be.
I am at 7,000 out of my 10,000. Portland is becoming a reality. I am scared and excited all together. I feel like I am drowning here. Portland will be my island. Totally not what I’m used to but will set me free. I’m ready to be free.
I finally go my iPhone 4s. FINALLYYYYYY. I haven’t had a new phone in like 5 years. I always bought them off craigslist!! Now I have a perfect little white phone. I am not in love with the number, but hey…that is going to be changed in 3 months anyway. I really want a portland #. Should I keep the FL # just so I remember where I came from?? Idk. I mean I do still have my FL tattoo!! hahaha so lame.
None of my exs will have my number either!! No random messages! I really have dated some crazy dudes.
10% Enemy70% Friend84% Match Message from ben_1976
Jan 10, 2012 – 1:35pm
Hi…what’s upSent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 1:38pm
Hey….not too much! At work and got an email on my phone that “aja” was “checking me out” so i thought id click on it to see how u look at see wat u have to say!….honestly i forgot i was on this lameee site till YOU jus reminded me!…lol..may be a good thing tho, who knows…Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 1:41pm
I’m on here for pure entertainment. They have one of my close friends on here as being 45% enemy!!! I live for the creepy emails.Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 1:43pm
Oh ok….So wat if i become ur husband!?? Lollol…are u gona like send a testimonial in to the site and tell them u met ur dream luver !!??!!!!! LOLSent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 1:53pm
Prolly not. Maybe you misunderstood me. This site is stupid. I don’t expect to meet anyone on here. My friends and I laugh about itSent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 1:56pm
Was jokin but u never know!…ur sooo negative but ok…Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 2:25pm
You’re right. My humor is too dry for most. Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 2:27pm
Blah!Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 2:38pm
Dude..it’s cool. No worries. People always take me wrong. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this. I’m to the point. Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 2:51pm
Im not takin u wrong, im just saying….its watever….i hav a sense of humor, u dont!…its watever…Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 3:44pm
Well, thank you. I will work on it. This is the first time anyone has ever stood up to me. Can we keep talking so I can find out what else is wrong with my personality?Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 3:45pm
Not via this lameeee site!…u can text me tho, and ill keep ya informed daily!…lol
7576759511….Sent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 4:49pm
Interesting, now u disappear!…lameeeeSent from the OkCupid app
Jan 10, 2012 – 5:07pm
Yeah sorry…I’m at work. Sent from the OkCupid app
Ok babe, u have the number if anything!…
Please feel free to use the number. Post it. I don’t care. This guy is a dick.
It’s been like 4 months since I had sex. I’m not looking for random sex or even a relationship. Just some simple touch would be so amazing. No guy has even tried to hold my hand or kiss me. I feel like I am wearing a sign that reads “damaged goods”. NO one wants that shit.
This is also partly my fault. I have no idea how to flirt anymore. I always think in my head, “what would he want with me” even tho I know I’m pretty and a super cool girl. When I think about it, I believe that some guys have hit on me, but I played it off like they were kidding. I am just toxic to myself!! haha
I thought it would be sweet of me to put his mugshot up. What a moron.
My Ex Bf Stacy and I have been talking all week. We thought it would be a great idea to talk things thru and cuddle all night. We were both excited about being with each other and seeing if something was still there.
I got to Stacy’s and waited for about an hour for him to show up. When he did, he walked right past my car. I carried all of my bags up the 2 flights of stairs by myself. I got in the house and we started to talk about things. He gets a phone call from his friends inviting him out later.
He then says to me “I have plans later, you can’t stay” WTF.
I was pissed, but was like, maybe he is joking with me. We laid in bed and watched a movie. He kept falling asleep. I got up to take a shower and put on my Pjs. He then told me again that I wasn’t invited to stay anymore. I was just floored. I asked him why he had even invited me over and such. He cooly said ” I wanted to see you.”
I texted Bubba and told him what was going on. He was still with his friend at this point, so that’s how I ended up at Brandon’s. I dropped Stacy off at his boss’s and went back to DT Orlando.
While at dinner with Bubba, Stacy began to text me. “where are you?’ “are you coming back” I was like “no, I am with my friend and I’m tired. I will probably stay with him” He text me back “NOT COOL. I DON’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE”.
Yeah, For reals.
The moral to this story is that I attract insane people.
Yesterday was so flipping awesome. I went to Island of Adventure with my “New” friends Bubba Smith. We had so much fun and did nerdy shit together. He’s someone that I have known for years but never had the chance to hang out with one on one. We went to a taco/asian/indian food place in Downtown Orlando.
We depart ways for a few hours. Those hours will be explained in Part 2. I saw my friend Brandon Lowe for a bit. I haven’t seen him in a good year!! After that, I went back to Bubba’s house and we ate some Tijuana Flats.
Finally, I drove home with a huge smile on my face. I was beat. But it was one of the best days I have had in a long time.